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Updated 23
December 2011
Speech from the throne
A message from Kingdom of Osgoode, via the Town
Crier
Hear ye, hear ye! Since the unfortunate death of King
Tracy at this July’s Medieval Festival, there has been unrest in the land.
King Davis the Undefeatable and Queen Andrea have taken over the throne and
have proven to be more or less evil in their reign. During their nasty coronation
speech this summer, mere moments after King Tracy’s death, the duo promised
to rule with “unchecked despotism” and it seems they’ve been true to their
word. Since they’ve taken over from King Tracy and Queen Gaenor, taxes have
been incredibly high, the people have been mistreated, and the royal
couple’s enemies grow in number with every passing moon. Behold,
a Christmas wish from the royal palace. Oh, whatever shall we poor citizens
of the Kingdom
of Osgoode
do?
Speech
from the Throne
Oh, malodorous denizens of Osgoode.
The Queen and I bring you tidings of good cheer this blessed Christmas
season and we wish you and your repugnant kind a peaceful and excessive tax-paying
new year.
Since we commandeered… nay, were rightfully bestowed…
our royal titles after the timely and predictable murder of King Tracy, we
have been very busy ruling the Kingdom
of Osgoode.
During our coronation we promised you improved child labour regulations and since then, not one child under
the age of five has worked for gold coins in our kingdom. (We get them to
do it for free).
We have also been busily preparing for next July’s
magnificent Medieval Festival and are recruiting volunteers of all types and
ages for myriad jobs, be it as cashiers, set up and take down volunteers,
runners, or Education Day leaders. (Children under five need not apply).
For more information, contact our trusted Medieval Festival Co-Ordinator, Judy Carey at 613-826-1622 or carey002@rogers.com.
We have also been busily preparing for the arrival of a
new heir to the throne. Her royal highness is expected to grace the palace
with her presence toward the end of February. We look forward to
introducing the new princess to our legions of fans and servants at the
festival or during the Canada Day parade. Plans are already in motion for
her young majesty’s betrothal to Prince Harry of England, though Queen Elizabeth
has yet to return our royal email.
Finally, we have a message for all ye
ruffians who may be plotting our downfall during the closing ceremonies of next
year’s festival. Be forewarned that this King and Queen will not stand for
unruly conduct or pesky attempts on our lives. All vile rebels who dare to
threaten our reign shall suffer the consequences (which will be most
unpleasant).
On that note, have a happy Christmas and we look forward
to living in continued luxury at the grand palace on Main Street during our reign. Heaven
forbid we should have to live as our people do!
Yours majestically,
King Davis the Undefeatable and
Queen Andrea
PRIZE WINNERS!!!!!
Congratulations to the following winners of this year’s
festival prizes:
1st
Prize: Via Rail Package -
Jody Brenton (Fitzroy Harbour)
2nd
Prize: Ipod
Nano - Barbara Theobald
(Perth)
3rd Prize: Red Dot Café gift certificate - Kelly
Lyon (Osgoode)
NOTEWORTHY
Christine Asselin, Branch Manager of Scotiabank
in Osgoode, presents Kingdom of Osgoode Queen Andrea, and
Medieval Festival Co-ordinator Judy Carey, with a
cheque for $2,000.
KingS COME & KINGS GO
It is with heavy heart that the Kingdom of Osgoode mourns the
passing of King Tracy who was treacherously done away with by Sir John the
Inept shortly after the Knighting Ceremony on Sunday.
As kings go, King Tracy wasn’t really a bad king, and
then again he wasn’t really a good king either – he was well, just your
ordinary king. Rumour
has it that Queen Gaenor was so wrought with despair by his demise that she
hopped on Bear the Tinker’s cart and was last seen heading westward ho
towards Westport.
ReqViem in pax
REX Tracy 11
JVLY 2010 – 10 JVLY 2011 ad
SO SAD -
HOWEVER WE GOT US A NEW KING AND QUEEN!
It’s not all bad news though because although King
Tracy is no longer with us, his successor King Davis the Undefeatable and
his lovely bride, Queen Andrea, ascended to the throne in near-record
time.
Salve rex davis
et regina
andrea
The Peasants broke oVt in
dance Vpon hearing the news that the kingdom of osgoode had a new king
The Following are excerpts from the king & Queen’s
ascension speech:
“Rejoice, ye malodorous subjects of Osgoode.
If history is true then the king was probably vile, corrupt and
unnecessarily cruel anyway.
Besides, he lent me this royal outfit and in light of
his most recent death, I guess I get to keep it, along with the $3.25 I owe
him.
But, the royal lineage must continue.
Ye putrid peasants may look forward to a new era of my
unchecked despotism and wanton drunkenness.
I will offer somewhat improved working conditions for
children under age 5.
I will also continue to allow free well water testing each
spring, though you will likely continue to succumb to diseases and
deformities.
As a result of my generosity, your existence may become
slightly less Wretched, but probably not.
As King and Queen we promise to bring you this largely
malevolent rule complete with very poor English accents and a charming
royal smile.
But do not think we can be AS EASILY removed from our
thrones as this poor sap.
Our God-given intelligence has enabled us to detect a
pattern over the last four years.
We solemnly vow to survive any murderous plots the
kingdom’s wise guys may hatch during next year.
Oh, foul-smelling peasants, As your queen I say, look no
longer on this man as Prince Davis the Reluctant, but as King Davis the
Undefeatable.
We look forward to serving you. And more importantly, to
you, serving us.
And now, let us conclude this grand event by watching
the Knights of Valour. Until next year, we bid
you farewell and best of luck with the rats”.
Please come back often to read the monthly edicts from King
Davis and learn more about the 2012 Osgoode
Medieval Festival which will be held 7-8 July 2012.
HOW TO CONTACT US
For general information about the 2012 Medieval
Festival please contact:
Judy Carey (613)
826-1622 carey002@rogers.com
Come on
back now, ya hear!
The Osgoode Village Community Association is very
appreciative of the following sponsors that
have graciously made donations to the festival:
 
 
 
Osgoode District Lions Club
Red Dot Café
and also thank the
following businesses and organizations for helping to make the Kingdom of Osgoode Medieval
Festival a success:
Quinn’s
Quality Contracting Osgoode Storage
Rideau Osgoode Karate
Club Hall Superior Coatings
Ian Drew Custom Homes
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